You seemed familiar. You really did. I felt a connection, or was I just kidding myself?
I look in the mirror, see another me. Thinner, tired, yet bright and sun-shiny. Laughing got easier, pain, easier to dismiss. How? I used to wallow in it.
He died. He left me, just like that. In the blink of an eye. All gone.Done. Over. Zero. Zilch. Ka-put. Just like that, he was gone. The pain overwhelmed me. I remember mustering every ounce of my strength, however little it might have been, just to text a friend. All it said was "He died."
It took hours to bring myself to type that out- it seemed too real. How could it be?
Just like that. At the snap of your fingers, he . . . died.
It doesn't get real. No matter how many times I tell myself, it just does not get real. This isn't denial, is it?
Where are you, now? What must you be doing? How are you? HOW ARE YOU!
I can't seem to get hysterical anymore. Saying you died is easy, believing it. . . clearly, still need to work on that. But I suppose it's my belief you're right here, beside me. Explains why it got easier to breathe. How you must hate how much I cried. . . cry. Always you I shed tears for- it's like, no matter how difficult everything around me gets, if I shed a tear, my only thoughts are about you. Am I searching for excuses to cry so I can keep you in my memory? I know human memories fade, but yours are still fresh. Your memories are still, and always will be freshly opened wounds.
Sometimes, I can't look my parents in the eye. Can't bring myself to.
Sometimes, I can't see myself in the mirror, not even for an instant.
Sometimes, I shun going near another dog, Bruso included, only because I deserve to grieve.
Then, you make life easy. You make it laughable. That strength comes to me out of nowhere- the same strength you gave me just by looking at me with your ever soulful eyes. Baby, how much I miss you.
I shall not grieve anymore. I shall remind myself of your beauty, strength, intelligence. Of the wonder, kindness, love, warmth you gave me, and so many others. Of everything you have done for me, everything you have guided me through. I'll remind myself of the good times, because that's what you would want. I swear to do right by you. For as long as I'm on this planet, without you, I will live. In your memory. And only yours.
I love you.
Rest In Peace, Tuffy aka Shadow.
Rest in peace, and wait for me like you always have, because I am waiting for that day you jump on me and cuddle me. . in that place where there's no Tomorrow, just here, now, forever.
I look in the mirror, see another me. Thinner, tired, yet bright and sun-shiny. Laughing got easier, pain, easier to dismiss. How? I used to wallow in it.
He died. He left me, just like that. In the blink of an eye. All gone.Done. Over. Zero. Zilch. Ka-put. Just like that, he was gone. The pain overwhelmed me. I remember mustering every ounce of my strength, however little it might have been, just to text a friend. All it said was "He died."
It took hours to bring myself to type that out- it seemed too real. How could it be?
Just like that. At the snap of your fingers, he . . . died.
It doesn't get real. No matter how many times I tell myself, it just does not get real. This isn't denial, is it?
Where are you, now? What must you be doing? How are you? HOW ARE YOU!
I can't seem to get hysterical anymore. Saying you died is easy, believing it. . . clearly, still need to work on that. But I suppose it's my belief you're right here, beside me. Explains why it got easier to breathe. How you must hate how much I cried. . . cry. Always you I shed tears for- it's like, no matter how difficult everything around me gets, if I shed a tear, my only thoughts are about you. Am I searching for excuses to cry so I can keep you in my memory? I know human memories fade, but yours are still fresh. Your memories are still, and always will be freshly opened wounds.
Sometimes, I can't look my parents in the eye. Can't bring myself to.
Sometimes, I can't see myself in the mirror, not even for an instant.
Sometimes, I shun going near another dog, Bruso included, only because I deserve to grieve.
Then, you make life easy. You make it laughable. That strength comes to me out of nowhere- the same strength you gave me just by looking at me with your ever soulful eyes. Baby, how much I miss you.
I shall not grieve anymore. I shall remind myself of your beauty, strength, intelligence. Of the wonder, kindness, love, warmth you gave me, and so many others. Of everything you have done for me, everything you have guided me through. I'll remind myself of the good times, because that's what you would want. I swear to do right by you. For as long as I'm on this planet, without you, I will live. In your memory. And only yours.
I love you.
Rest In Peace, Tuffy aka Shadow.
Rest in peace, and wait for me like you always have, because I am waiting for that day you jump on me and cuddle me. . in that place where there's no Tomorrow, just here, now, forever.
