My Best Friend.

I had a best friend. I don’t remember him too well though. I do remember spending my childhood with him, for the most part. I remember his eyes. They were brown, and ever so solemn. They were beautiful. He was beautiful. Nobody thought otherwise for even a moment.

My best friend never let me down. He kissed my tears away, and he hugged me so tight that his warmth spread throughout my cold body. He never let me down. He was always there. Ever so patient, ever so caring. My best friend taught me everything I need to know to be a good person. My best friend, always waited. Quietly. In his corner. Every day. He waited for me to go to him. My best friend loved me, and I loved him so much that now, it hurts.

It hurts that I cant see him every day, or hold him tight. It hurts, ‘cause I never once told him I was there for him. I suppose he understood though. He was amazing that way. My best friend knew it all. He knew what to do, and when. Every single time.

My best friend died. I think, five years ago. I don’t remember his death. I don’t remember being there. I wasn’t there. My best friend died without telling me. He didn’t even warn me.

I abandoned him before he could.

I regret it now. Every day. My best friend meant everything to me, and he was taken away. I didn’t get a chance to tell him how sorry I am. Moreso now than ever before.
Nobody came close. Not one soul I’ve met in the years after him have come close to my best friend.

Bruno.

He wasn’t a human being. Human beings don’t understand each other very well. They don’t stay, they have their own issues to deal with. . . but my best friend, was not a human being.

He was the warmest being on earth. He would smile at me, every time he saw me. His tail would wag furiously, but he had not one for he was a dobermann. He was my baby. My everything.

My best friend once whispered in my ear that life would get difficult and I had to breathe through it. He nuzzled my neck, and forced me to cuddle him even though I was very annoyed at the world. I was 10. His eyes glistened mischeviously, and he wanted to play. My best friend sat next to me when I fell as we were playing. He didn’t pick me up, he just sat by me. He didn’t wait for me to get up, he let me take my time. I’m sure my best friend would have sat on me if he weren’t scared that I hurt myself. He didn’t lick my wounds, he told me they’d heal. I didn’t need anything to heal them, they’d heal, with time.

Time was all I needed. Time is what I never got.

But my best friend left a void in my life. He went away. I abandoned him, and he went away.
I shouldn’t have abandoned him, and his death should have been peaceful. He deserved a peaceful death. He deserved a peaceful life. He was my best friend and hed done so much for me. So much more than all the human race, together, could have done. My best friend taught me what life was, but he left me.

It hurts now. I feel empty. People don’t understand why I loved him so much. He was alive only for a short span of time. I wonder, though, was my best friend happy?

Did I give him enough love?

No.

I couldn’t have.

My best friend was smart. He was poignant, and brilliant. He was beautiful, patient, and caring. He didn’t get angry when I was annoyed with him. He didn’t bite me when I yelled. He never walked away. He was always there, standing, quietly, waiting for me. He never fought with me, I fought with him. My best friend was just that. . . a best friend.

He whispered that he’d have to leave soon, and it scared me. I’d hear him bark, and keep everyone away from me. He was over protective. He didn’t even like it when I hugged a family member, my parents and sister included. My best friend got jealous very easily, but he always came back to me. He never went away. He was always there, waiting for me.

I love him. So much. I miss him, more than I’d have ever imagined.

He was crushed. To his death.

And he didn’t deserve it.

I hate the human race for what they did to my best friend, but I hate myself more for letting it happen.
I should have fought, and taken him with us. I shouldn’t have let my mother give him away.
I found out about my best friends death from a cousin, over lunch. I nearly cried, but then I just bit my lip. I hated myself for letting him die. . . why did it happen?

I should have been the one punished, not my beautiful Bruno. He was the good one. He deserved a peaceful death.

I want to hug him. I want his hug, and his snout to kiss me. I want his warmth to spread over my body, and I want to look into his solemn, mysterious eyes and have him whisper that it will all be alright.
I don’t dream about my best friend, but I feel empty all the time.

I miss my best friend.

Nothing and nobody comes close.

Tuffy and Bruso learned well from each other, Bruno. You taught Tuffy well. To take care of me. You taught him so well, that he reminds me of you, every time I look at him. Bruso learned from Tuffy, too. You three are horribly naughty. You remind me of the other, and it makes me miss all of you more.

I left them too. But this time, I’ll bring them back. Just please give me some time to, okay? I don’t want to make the same mistake, but this room is too small for four of us. Just make sure they don’t go away like you did, Bruno. I don’t know what I’ll do. I lost you, I don’t want to lose them too. My best friends. My babies.

I don’t want anything to hurt you. I know you can’t speak to me, and now, you cant even show me, but show them okay? So that I know when I go wrong. It’s okay, I make mistakes, but you three are always there, forgiving me for every mistake. Not knowing what bad things I did. Not caring, even if I AM a bad human being. You love me all the same. And I love you.

For not judging me, and for telling me it’s alright. For hugging me, and only craving my attention, like I crave yours. For coming to me, and not caring about the rest of the world. For being there. . . every single time.

You make me happy.

Not having you around. . . not having any of you around, breaks me. And I don’t want to live any longer than Tuffy and Bruso. I don’t think I’d be able to take it. I know, it’s very selfish of me. It’s very human of me to be so selfish. It’s a revolting thing, this selfishness, but I cant imagine my life without any of you.

You’re already gone Bruno. If Tuffy and Bruso go too, what will become of me?
I just hope you know that, Bruno. And I hope you’re in doggy heaven, getting more than what you deserve. You were, and always will be my best friend, my baby, my guide. I love you.

Wait for me. Like you always have.

Wait for me, and wag your tail furiously ‘cause I’ve been gone too long. You’ve never liked that. You’ve never liked it when I was too far away for too long. I remember.

But please, wait for me.

I need my best friend. .